Body, brain and mind in human disturbance

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Blog Post 3 – 25th February 2021

The causes and cures of emotional distress in counselling clients

Authors: Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne

Copyright (c) 2021

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brick-man-image2Long before the emergence of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – and its original form was Rational Therapy, which appeared in 1954-ish – there was an appreciation that a human being was a whole body-brain-mind (although this was undermined significantly by Rene Descartes’s ‘cogito, ergo sum’).  The Freudians were frustrated because so much of our “emotional wiring” is below the level of conscious awareness.  They thought they could develop a science for “externalizing the unconscious” – but we believe that the bulk of our non-narrativized experience from childhood onwards is not just “below the level of conscious awareness”, but also “permanently beyond Direct Conscious Inspection”. We can infer it, but we can never know it directly!

(See our book, Models of Mind for Counsellors.***)

Later, the behaviourists argued that because we cannot see inside the “so-called mind”, we should keep our focus upon observable behaviour – and this approach gave rise to a few different forms of behaviour therapy. 

Then, the “cognitive turn” – driven by the development of computer technology, during WWII, plus research by Jean Piaget with children undertaking IQ tests – persuaded some psychologists in America that what goes on inside of the brain-mind is “cognitions” (which Albert Ellis translated into “self-talk” and “irrational beliefs”; and Tim Beck followed up with “Negative Automatic Thoughts”).

Front cover3 of reissued REBT bookAlthough Dr Albert Ellis and Dr Tim Beck argued that our emotional distress is caused by our own thoughts and beliefs, in E-CENT counselling we argue that emotional disturbances are multi-causal phenomena.  Some of the causal factors determining our emotional state include the quality and quantity of our sleep; diet and exercise; gut bacteria; self-talk (or self-story), environmental restimulation of feelings from the past, relaxation, meditation, current relationships, historic relationships, and general environmental stressors, etc.  Here is a brief insight into the gut-brain-emotion axis, from Celeste McGovern:

“Anyone who has ever felt nauseous or lost their appetite because of grief, fear or shock, knows that stress has an impact on the gut.  It has been more than a decade since animal studies began making the correlation between stress and changes in gut microbes.  The connection between stress, depression and anxiety is well established, and dozens of studies are now looking at how these conditions affect bugs in the gut.  The big questions – such as which comes first, the microbe shift or the depression – have yet to be answered. Because it’s a two-way street, though, it looks as if correcting the gut microbiome (or gut bacteria population, variety and balance JWB) could be a new way to treat depression”.  (Footnote: Dinan, T.G. and Cryan, J.F. 2013, Sept; 25(9): Pages 713-719: Melancholic microbes: a link between gut microbiota and depression?  Available online).

Quotation from: Celeste McGovern (2017) Bugs in the system. What Doctors Don’t Tell You, Jan 2017, Pages 28-36).

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Comment: Our way of understanding this new research is this: Food is probably going to prove to be one of the best medicines for emotional distress (all other things being equal – including adequate sleep, stress level, current relationships, historic relationships, regular physical exercise, and so on.  [Holistic. Holistic. Holistic!])  And supplementation with friendly gut bacteria, combined with eating the right kinds of foods will prove to be important.  Big Pharma’s drugs for emotional distress have proved to be a social disaster!

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Front cover, Lifestyle Counselling, 2020Our approach to counselling focuses on the whole person: body-brain-mind-environment. 

We care about your feelings and your difficulties. 

We care about your relationships and goals in life.

We link those concerns to your approach to exercise, relaxation, life balance, and various other factors.  For example, we do not overlook your philosophy of life.

Last year we posted this statement…

“Anybody can read philosophy uncritically, and believe what they read.  But we must develop the ability to critically evaluate what we read.  For example:

– Epictetus (a former Roman slave) wrote (in the Enchiridion) that people are not upset by their experiences of life, but rather by their evaluations of those experiences,

– However, the contrary view was expressed by Epicurus (a Greek philosopher), who taught us that ’the cry of the flesh’ to be free from hunger, cold and thirst, is far louder than our weak, little mental evaluations of hunger, cold and thirst!”

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We continue to develop our ideas about the body-brain-mind of the counselling client, and most of our publications on this subject can be found here, on The ABC Bookstore Online.***

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Jim.Nata.Couples.pg.jpg.w300h245That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Jim and Renata

Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne, practitioners of Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT)

The Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT

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Fictionalized autobiography of childhood trauma and adult damage

Blog Post: 16th August 2020

E-CENT Institute Blog

By Dr Jim Byrne

Books about childhood trauma – how to recover – how I recovered – and a fictionalized autobiography of childhood/manhood

Including an eBook about the life of an emotionally abused boy, and his struggle to become a loving man

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Jim and the Buddha, 2I am aware of the principle of ‘concentration of power’ on our top priorities, which was popularized in the 1980s, by Dr Charles R. Hobbs, and re-presented in recent times by Garry Keller and Jay Papasan, in their book, ‘The One Thing’.  We are more likely to be successful if we focus on just a few important priorities.

Nevertheless, I have been switching back and forth between three books on Childhood Development, Trauma, and Recovery, for the past couple of months or more.

The three books in question are as follows:

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Recovery from Childhood Trauma:

How I healed my heart and mind – and how you can heal yourself

By Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

Front cover,1Many people struggle with emotional distress, just below the level of conscious awareness, which mars their life chances, and limits their capacity for happy relationships. Much of this distress could and should be classified as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); or emotional distress which follows on from a traumatic experience, which is too stressful (at the time of occurrence) to be processed into a coherent story.  And even more should be defined as Complex-PTSD, arising out of protracted child abuse in early childhood.

The author describes the main traumatic experiences that occurred in his childhood, which hung like a dark cloud over his emotional and relational life, up to the age of almost forty years or so.  He also describes the various therapeutic processes that he used to try to process his undigested childhood pain.  Chief among those strategies were the writing of his Story of Origins and his Story of Relationship, both of which are reproduced in this book, along with analysis and commentary. He also includes guidelines for the reader to do their own writing therapy on their own childhood trauma, which will greatly improve the quality of their emotional and relational lives.  And he emphasizes the importance of exercise and other body-based healing approaches. His hope is that the reader will use this book to become happier and healthier, and more at ease in their own skin; with a better prospect of moving forward into a more enjoyable future life.

For more information, please click this link.***

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Transforming Traumatic Dragons:

How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach

By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

Revised, expanded and updated: June 2020

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020From Ancient Athens to Vietnam and Zambia, individual lives have been ruined by stress, strain, abuse and neglect. Madness, serious unhappiness and unworkable lives were most often the result.

Many common problems with physical and mental health are a result of childhood trauma, and/or being an adult who is abused by another adult.

Early childhood trauma (like physical and emotional abuse, and neglect), and other forms of prolonged trauma (like domestic abuse), affect the very structure of the human brain, and the behaviour of stress hormones in the body.

But the good news is this: It is possible to recover from all forms of trauma, given the right kind of approach. And this book offers you just such an approach to self-healing.

Dr Byrne discusses the following topics: What is trauma?  What is post-traumatic stress disorder?  What is Complex-PTSD?  How widespread is Complex-PTSD?  What are Adverse Childhood Experiences?  What are some solutions to Childhood Developmental Trauma or Complex-PTSD? The meaning and importance of the concept of Traumatic Dragons.

This book contains a comprehensive self-therapy program, to help you to heal your own traumatic wounds, from prolonged childhood abuse or neglect, or other forms of prolonged traumatic experiences.

If you are suffering from the aftermath of prolonged traumatic experiences, this book will be a great help to you. If you work slowly and methodologically through the program of self-healing, described in this book, you will gain by the calming down of your body, brain and mind; and the emergence of a sense of happiness and inner peace.

For more information, please click this link: Transforming Traumatic Dragons

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But the third book – next – is the one I have chosen to prioritize, and it is now available on Amazon stores around the world.  This is it:

Fictionalized autobiography of an Irish Catholic boy: The autobiography of a traumatized child.

Title: Metal Dog – Long Road Home

By Jim Byrne (writing through his alter ego, Daniel O’Beeve)

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Metal_Dog__Long_Roa_Cover_for_KindleThis is the fictionalized autobiography of Jim Byrne (writing through his alter ego, Daniel O’Beeve). None of the characters in this story should be confused with any real person, alive or dead!

Here is a brief extract, intended to give you a flavour of the quality of this personal (fictional!) story:

Extract: I went inside (the fish and chip shop in Blackpool), blinking the rain out of my eyes, and immediately recognized the leopard-skin coat and black fishnet tights on the raven-haired customer in front of me at the counter.  She lived in the house next to the one in which I was lodging.  I’d seen her come and go a few times as I sat at the table in the bay window, eating my breakfast or my evening meal.

She had the appearance of an actress or model.  Tall, elegant, heavily made-up, and she walked with a wiggle, in extremely high, black, patent leather stiletto heels.  As I stood behind her on the queue, she ordered cod and chips.  Then I ordered the same.  She turned to look at me and said, “Horrible weather!”

I agreed.

Her fish and chips were wrapped within seconds; she paid; and she headed for the door.

My fish and chips were wrapped next, and I followed suit.

I did not expect her to be waiting at the exit to speak to me…

For more, please click this link: Fictionalized autobiography – Metal Dog, Long Road back to near normality.***.

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This is how I announced that book on LinkedIn today:

Childhood trauma and abuse: For the next 5 days, beginning on Sunday 16th August, this book will be available for FREE as a Kindle eBook. The author explores problems of attachment theory, affect regulation, personality adaptations, and childhood trauma – all in the context of a fictionalized autobiography which examines three different perspectives on the nature-nurture debate. Dr Jim Byrne has combined his experience of 22 years of dealing with clients with childhood abuse and neglect, and his hobby of reading psychological thrillers, to create a unique book…  Get your copy … …  Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Metal dog

Please take a look and see what you think. Do you think this fictionalized autobiography helps to expand or deepen your understanding of complex childhood trauma; or to deepen your empathy for victims of child abuse?

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That’s all for today.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne

Doctor of Counselling

Attachment theory and complex childhood trauma

E-CENT Blog post – 1st July 2020: Updated on 9th December 2022

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Trauma therapy, attachment theory, self-help resources, and the story of childhood trauma

How I worked on my own adverse childhood experiences, and used the resulting insights to help clients with childhood developmental trauma

By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling, at The Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT)

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, July 2020/ December 2022

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Childhood amnesia about traumatic abuseSome therapists look for the source of their clients’ upsets in the client’s beliefs, as if the client invented their own belief system, independently of their parents, teachers, religious institutions, and the mass media – and as if their current beliefs and attitudes were not strongly impacted by their current socioeconomic environment, and the current physical state of their body and brain.

Last week I worked with a depressed man, Frank (not his real name), over Skype (not the actual channel of communication) about the fact that he is involved in an unhappy marriage. He is 57 years old, on his third marriage, and his current wife seems to hate him, or strongly dislike him; is willing to tolerate being married to him; but does not want to have anything much to do with him – (even though they live together in a tiny house, and have done so for about five years).

Frank’s formulation of his problem was this: “I want Josie to love me, actively; and to engage in passionate sex on a frequent basis!”

To me, it seemed pretty clear this this was like somebody who lives in Africa, and knows Africa well, wanting snow on the equator in August; or a cool breeze in the Kalahari Desert at noon.  Totally unrealistic; and this should have been obvious to Frank if he was “thinking straight”.  (But then “thinking” is another story!)

We are unaware of our childhood traumasIn my view, Frank seemed to be acting out a childhood problem of insecure attachment to this mother: an inability to get close to his mother, and to get the kind of pleasure and comfort he needed from her, 55 years ago!

Many of my clients’ problems seem to track back to childhood attachment issues; or childhood trauma; both of which are outside of the awareness of the client.

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I am currently expanding and updating my book on how to resolve complex trauma, caused by prolonged childhood abuse. The new title is this:

Transforming Traumatic Dragons:

How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach

1, A New Dragons Trauma book cover

This book began its life in an embryonic form in July 2011, as

E-CENT Paper No.13: Completing your past experiences of difficult events, perceptions, and painful emotions.  

The paper began like this:

Preface

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life”.  Virginia Woolf

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“Whatever you resist persists”.  Werner Erhard

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The core of the theory and practice of Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT) is built around the concept of “reframing your experience” of life, so that it will show up in a more tolerable and bearable way than if you frame it unrealistically, illogically and/or unreasonably.  Normally the client knows what the problem is.  It is available to their conscious awareness.  And the E-CENT counsellor encourages them to look at it through a variety of ‘lenses’ or ‘windows’, so they can see it differently. (Byrne, 2009b). For example:

Window1

On the other hand, sometimes a client may have a problem buried in their past, about which they know nothing, and this buried problem – this ‘denied pain’ – is the main driver of their current depression, anxiety, panic, or anger.  With these kinds of archaic problems of repression, we use techniques related to the concept of “digging up” and “completing” that archaic experience; of “digesting it”; so it can be filed away in an inactive file, in the background of their life, where it cannot cause them any more psychological problems.

However, these two processes cannot be totally separated.  Humans are interpreting-beings. We cannot see our experience directly, and we cannot complete our experience of some kind of ‘objective reality’. In fact, when we are trying to complete an experience, we either see it through an ‘empowering lens’ or a ‘depowering lens’.  Therefore, we must never fail to engage in empowering processes of reframing our experience, as we are completing it. (This is especially true when dealing with old traumatic experiences).

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drjim-counsellor9Then, in 2016, I produced a book, entitled ‘Facing and Defeating Your Emotional Dragons’; which used the processes of ‘reframing experiences’ and ‘completion’, with the proviso that the reframing process must be mastered by the client before they ever attempt the completion process, in order to avoid re-traumatizing themselves.

I am now (in June/July 2020) updating that book, and expanding it, to take account of the insights and therapeutic processes of Dr Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), combined with other influences, and my own more recent clinical experience.

The title of this revised and expanded book is this:

Transforming Traumatic Dragons:

How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach.

And you can read about the content of this book here:

https://abc-bookstore.com/how-to-resolve-childhood-developmental-trauma/

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PS: I would also recommend that you take a look at the following, related information pages:

Recovery from Childhood Trauma: How I healed my heart and mind – and how you can heal yourself.

And also:

Newly released on 15th November 2022

The Disconnected Heart of Daniel O:

The fictionalized autobiography of a seeker after love

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“How I healed my (mother-inflicted) childhood emotional wounds, and how you can heal yours!”

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A fictionalized-factual life story, combined with a subjective psychological self-analysis of developmental trauma disorder

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By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling – (and his alter ego, Daniel O’Beeve)

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Kindle coverThis book is about one man’s journey away from his homeland and his emotionally barren family and priest-dominated culture, to a place where he might find love, acceptance and personal liberation.

Daniel’s heart-wrenching journey to freedom is like a detective novel, a psychological thriller, and a science fiction adventure, all rolled into one. He shows the reader how to heal their own psychological wounds from childhood, and especially from their relationship with an unskillful or damaged mother.

…For more information, and a substantial extract from the book, please click this link…

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Reader Review:

“I read this book in three evenings. It’s a wonderfully insightful trawl through the complexities of the initial relationship bond between a damaged mother and her avoidant and dissociating son, by the seer Dr Jim Byrne.  

“The book explores the dynamics of his own relationship with his mother in a way that is accessible and tangible, which is generalizable to the life of the reader.  Many readers will be able to relate to this fictionalized story which explores early attachment trauma(s) and how we spend the rest of our lives trying to come to terms with what happened to us as a child. And the bonus is a final chapter which describes how to heal your own ‘mother wound’.”

Brian Ingersoll-Trent, Liverpool. December 7th 2022

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…For more information, and a substantial extract from the book, please click this link…

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ecent logoThat’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne

Doctor of Counselling

Executive Director of the Institute for E-CENT

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Emotive-cognitive-embodied therapy versus REBT/CBT

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Blog post: 15th June 2020

Distinguishing Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT) from REBT/CBT

By Dr Jim Byrne

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Preamble

Jim and the Buddha, 2The most fundamental difference between E-CENT theory and REBT/CBT theory is their models of human disturbance.

Albert Ellis, the creator of REBT, and the grandfather of general CBT, rejected the simple Stimulus-Organism-Response (SOR) model of neobehaviourism, and Freud’s It/Ego/Superego, and substituted his own simple ABC model.

The simple SOR model assumed that, every time a stimulus impacted an organism, an adaptive response, based upon prior conditioning, was emitted or produced.  If a person saw something which had previously frightened them, then they would respond with fear. But if the same stimulus had previously angered them, then they would respond with anger.

Human-emotionThe simple ABC model dumped the role of experience, conditioning, and habit formation, and replaced those experiential psychological processes with a single concept: Beliefs! 

I have produced an extensive critique of the ABC model of REBT, in my main book on REBT, which is A Major Critique of REBT’. What follows is a brief extract from Chapter 2 of that book:

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Introduction

The ABC model oversimplifiesLet us now take a look at the ABC model of REBT – which is the core model that not only determines the shape of each intervention by an REBT therapist, but which also structures the entire 45 minutes of time spent with each client.

To repeat what was said above, the ABC model is normally presented like this:

# The ‘A’ stands for an Activating event, or stimulus, which results in some kind of response from an individual.

# The ‘B’ stands for the Belief system of the individual (which includes distinctions to do with whether the individual is:

(a): Being (1) ‘demanding’; versus (2) merely ‘preferring’ something;

(b): Expressing (1) ‘awfulizing’ (which means [in REBT – but not in the Oxford English Dictionary] describing something as totally bad); versus (2) merely saying something is some small degree of badness;

(c): Implying (1) that they ‘cannot stand’ something at all; versus (2) the idea that it is merely difficult to stand it; or:

(d): Engaging in (1) condemning or damning of self, others or the world; versus (2) merely being critical of their own behaviour, the behaviour of others, and/or some features of the world/reality).

# The ‘C’ stands for the Consequent emotions (and/or behaviours) that are assumed to arise out of the interaction of the ‘A’ multiplied by the ‘B’ above.  At least, that is a form of the ABC model, which arose at some point in the evolution of the theory.  This interactional model is expressed by Windy Dryden (1999) like this: “…the C’s (consequences – JB) … follow from irrational beliefs (iB’s – JB) about negative A’s (or negative activating events – JB)…”. (Pages 7-8)[1].

But this is a construction which is honoured more in the breach than in the observance by Albert Ellis (and perhaps many other therapists as well).  Throughout the whole of his career, as illustrated below, Albert Ellis tended to imply that no Activating event (A) could cause a client to feel anything (at point C) – unless they were hit by a brick or a baseball bat.  This is an implicit denial of the strength, power and aversive influence of all activating events (A’s), leaving the B (or irrational beliefs) to largely (or almost exclusively) account for the client’s disturbance.  And the way Ellis normally expresses this construction, when under pressure to adhere to the interactional model, is this: “Although A’s often seem to directly ‘cause’ or contribute to C’s, this is rarely true, because B’s normally serve as important mediators between A’s and C’s, and therefore (the B’s) more directly ‘cause’ or ‘create’ C’s…”[2].  Thus Ellis hangs on to the idea that the client’s beliefs (B) are the real culprit – while seeming to accept the interaction of the A’s and B’s.  For Ellis, it is a sine qua non (or an essential condition) of human disturbance that clients, in fact, disturb themselves! (What a gift he handed to the immoral forces of the world! The exploiters, abusers and oppressors!)

In Ellis’s own words: “When I started to get disillusioned with psychoanalysis I reread philosophy and was reminded of the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2,000 years ago: ‘People are disturbed not by events that happen to them, but by their view of them’.” (Quoted in Epstein, R. [2001])[3].

Albert Ellis blames the client for upsetsFrom this position, Ellis often takes the view that people upset themselves.  Nobody does it to them.  “How can anybody make you feel anything?” he will demand to know.

But he is not always consistent.  Sometimes he will say it slightly differently, like this:

“People don’t just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness”, which sounds more like the ‘interactional model’ – which says, A (or activating event) multiplied by B (or the person’s belief) equals C (or their consequent emotional response). But then he adds his escape hatch: “They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can’t do.” (Quote from Epstein, 2001).

In other words, although they ‘only contribute’ to their upsetness, about some Activating event; nevertheless, since they have the power to think their way out of their upsetness, they are obviously still upsetting themselves (with their ‘goddamned irrational beliefs’) if they continue to be upset!  QED!

Albert Ellis absolves external pressures from human disturbance

Here is yet another Ellis formulation: “People condition themselves to feel disturbed, rather than being conditioned by external sources.” (Ellis, 1979)[4].  (Remember, in Chapter 1 above, I mentioned that Ellis acknowledged internal and external conditioning.  Now he dumps the external conditioning completely.  Such inconsistencies are a hallmark of Albert Ellis’s reasoning!  He clearly does not have a consistent model of the human brain-mind-environment complexity in his mind, at least not available to his conscious inspection!)

And, finally, here is a summary of Ellis’s view from Corey, (2001):

“…human beings are largely responsible for creating their own emotional reactions and disturbances.  Showing people how they can change their irrational beliefs that directly ‘cause’ their disturbed emotional consequences is the heart of REBT (Ellis, 1998[5], 1999[6]; Ellis and Dryden, 1997[7]; Ellis, Gordon, Neenan and Palmer, 1997[8]; Ellis and Harper, 1997[9])”.  (From Corey, 2001, page 300)[10].

Albert Ellis's false view of human disturbance

As I will demonstrate below, Albert Ellis has created a completely false view of human perceiving-feeling-thinking processes, by substituting an extreme Stoical philosophical proposition (which is false to facts) for any and all modern psychologies (with the possible exception of Adlerian therapy, which claims that our emotional reactions and lifestyle are ‘cognitively created’. See Corey, 2001, page 298).

This view (from Ellis and Epictetus) contradicts the modern neuroscience and interpersonal neuropsychology perspectives, which show emotion as innate, and underpinning all emotive-cognitive processes. (Siegel 2015; Panksepp, 1998; Hill 2015).

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For more of my critique of REBT, please see:

  1. A Major Critique of REBT: Revealing the many errors in the foundations of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy

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  1. Discounting Our Bodies: A brief, critical review of REBT’s flaws. (If you want to know the essence of our critique of REBT, but you don’t want to have to read 500+ pages, then this 150 page summary should appeal to you).

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  1. The Amoralism of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT): The mishandling of self-acceptance and unfairness issues by Albert Ellis

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  1. Albert Ellis and the Unhappy Golfer: A critique of the simplistic ABC model of REBT

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A more comprehensive model of human disturbance

By contrast with the simplistic ABC model of REBT/CBT, we in E-CENT counselling theory have created a much more realistic, Holistic Stimulus-Organism-Response model.

The first step in creating this model involved “adding back the body” to our models of human disturbance.  In the ABC model of REBT/CBT, there is no body.  A person is just “a belief-machine”.

But in reality, our emotions are housed in our physical bodies/ brains/ minds; and socialized into our bodies/ brains/ minds.

Over time, I refined this body-brain-mind model of human disturbance, and this is how I wrote about it in our book on Lifestyle Counselling and Coaching for the Whole Person:

8.3(b): Elucidation

The elucidation stage of E-CENT counsellingThere are a number of models that I use for the purpose of elucidating the client’s concerns, dilemmas, goals, etc.

Chief among them is our own holistic version of the Stimulus-Organism-Response (or Holistic-SOR) model.

The original SOR model (created by the neo-behaviourists) suggested that, when an animal (or human) notices a stimulus (S), it outputs a response (R), because of the way the organism (O) processes the stimulus.

Figure 8.1: The classic S>O>R model:

the simple SOR model

That original SOR model of neo-behaviourism was dumped by Dr Albert Ellis, the creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), and replaced by the simple ABC model, in which the client is assumed to be always and only upset because of their ‘irrational beliefs’.  (And Freud’s ‘ABCs’ were no better, in that he implied that when something happens [let’s call it an ‘A’, or activating event], the client responds with their own phantasy [let’s call it a ‘B’, or belief], which upsets them [at point C – consequence]: though Freud did not use that ‘ABC’ lettering system)

Aaron Tim Beck (despite being a medical doctor, and theoretically aware of the importance of the human body) also adopted this simple ABC model. (Beck 1976).

So one of the main contributions of E-CENT counselling has been ‘adding back the body’ to the client; and accepting that the client’s body-mind-environment-whole is implicated in all of their emotional and behavioural states.

In the process we developed a more holistic version of the Stimulus-Organism- Response model. (See Figure 8.2 below)

In the simple, classical SOR model, an incoming stimulus (S) – (which is a sensed experience) – impacts upon the nervous system of the organism (O) – (or person, in our case) – causing a reactive response (R) to be outputted (or generated), to cope with the stimulus (or incoming experience).

In the early stages of our explorations, after looking at Freud and Ellis – on the ABC model and the Experience-Phantasy-Neurosis model – we turned our attention to the Parent-Adult-Child (PAC) model of TA, plus this simple, classic SOR model.

But then we began to ask ourselves what factors are most likely to affect the capacity for a human organism to be able to handle difficult incoming stimuli, or activating events.  We came up with an extensive list, which includes:

Diet: (meaning balanced, healthy, or otherwise).  (Does the individual/ organism have enough blood-glucose to be able to process the incoming stimulus, physically and mentally?)

Exercise: (meaning regular physical exercise designed to reduce stress, versus a sedentary lifestyle)[11]

Self-talk, scripts, frames and schemas: (Including conscious and/or non-conscious stories and narratives/ thinking-feeling states/ self-signalling/ attitudinizing / framing, etc.  Plus other culturally shaped beliefs and attitudes, expectations, prophesies, etc.  Plus non-narrativized experiences stored in the form of schemas and frames, etc.)

Relaxation: (or release from muscle tension and anxiety, versus tension and anxiety);

Family history: (including attachment styles [secure or insecure]; childhood trauma; and personality adaptations, etc.);

Emotional needs: (including deficits and/or satisfactions);

Character and temperament: (as in Myers-Briggs or Keirsey-Bates)[12];

Environmental stressors: (including home environment, work situation, economic circumstances, and so on);

Sleep pattern; and the balance between work, rest and play.

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By keeping our focus on the fact that the client is a complex, socialized body-brain-mind; steeped in storied- (or narrativized-) experiences (plus non-storied experiences) of concrete experiences in a concrete world; and living in a complex relationship to an external social environment – which is often hostile and unsupportive, resulting in stress-induced over-arousal of the entire body-brain-mind – we never fall into the trap of foolishly asking the client: “What do you think you are telling yourself in order to cause your own problem?” 

And we do not foolishly tell the client that the thoughts which (in reality, very often) follow on from their emotional experiences are causing those emotional experiences!

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We focus on the client’s story and the client’s physical existence, both with roughly equal, but variable, emphasis.  Sometimes the story needs most attention, and sometimes the state of the body-brain-mind, in terms of diet, exercise, etc., is more important.

Traditional medical doctors were guilty of separating the body from the mind, and trying to treat the body as a ‘faulty machine’ – which was in line with Newtonian mechanics of the nineteenth century, which lasted well into the twentieth century and beyond.

Sigmund Freud, as a trained neurologist and MD, came out of that tradition and began the process of moving towards some kind of appreciation of the mind.

However, many generations of counsellors and psychotherapists have gone too far in this direction, and forgot all about the body.

Some modern medical doctors are beginning to realize their original error.

Here’s how Dr Ron Anderson, Chairman of the Board of the Texas Department of Health, describes his aim for all the doctors he influences:

 

“I try to have people understand wholeness if I can, because if you don’t understand the mind/body connection, you start off on the wrong premise. 

You also have to understand the person within their family and community because this is where people live”.[13] 

 

~~~

Using the Holistic SOR model

Figure 8.2 below shows how we present the holistic SOR model for our clients.

Holistic-SOR-Model

Figure 8.2: The E-CENT holistic SOR model

As indicated in Figure 8.2, E-CENT theory takes a holistic view of the client as a social-body-mind, with a habit-based character and temperament, living in a particular social and physical environment, with stressors and supports.

The client has a personal history which is unique to them; plus some social shaping that extends to their family, and some to their community; some to their nation/ race/ gender, etc.

This illustration should be read as follows: Column 1 – ‘S’ = (or equals) a stimulus, which, when experienced by an O = Organism (in our case a human), may activate or interact with any of the factors listed in column 2; and this will produce an R = Response, as shown in column 3.

To be more precise: The holistic SOR model states that a client (a person) responds at point ‘R’, to a (negative or positive) stimulus at point ‘S’, on the basis of the current state of their social-body-mind.

How well rested are they?

How high or low is their blood-sugar level (which is related to diet)?

How well connected are they to significant others (which is a measure of social support)?

How much conflict do they have at home or at work?

What other pressures are bearing down upon them (e.g. from their socio-economic circumstances; physical health; home/ housing; work/ income; security/ insecurity; etc.)

And how emotionally intelligent are they? (Emotional intelligence is, of course, learned, and can be re-learned!)

Within the Holistic-SOR model (in Figure 8.2 above), in the middle column, what we are aiming to do is to construct a balance sheet (in our heads) of the pressures bearing down on the client (person), and the coping resources that they have for dealing with those pressures.

~~~

So this is a historical-social-stress model. It is not a purely ‘cognitive distortion’ model; nor a purely ‘biological/ sexual urges’ model; nor a purely ‘prizing and listening’ model.

~~~

For more insights into this whole body-brain-mind approach to emotive-cognitive- embodied therapy, please take a look at the page of information about Lifestyle Counselling and Coaching for the whole Person.***

~~~

That’s all for now.

Best wishes.

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne

Doctor of Counselling

Fellow of the International Society of Professional Counsellors (FISPC)

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

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The Institute for E-CENT Counselling

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ABC Bookstore Online

~~~

Endnotes

[1] Dryden, W. (1999) Rational Emotive Behavioural Counselling in Action.  Second edition.  London: Sage Publications.

[2] Ellis, A. and Dryden, W. (1999) The Practice of REBT.  Second edition.  London: Free Association Books. Page 9.

[3] Epstein, R. (2001) The Prince of Reason: An interview with Albert Ellis, developer of rational emotive behaviour therapy. Online blog article and interview. Psychology Today online blog article https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200101/the-prince-reason

[4] Ellis, A. (1979). Rejoinder: Elegant and inelegant RET. In A. Ellis & J.M. Whiteley (eds.). Theoretical and empirical foundations of rational-emotive therapy (pp. 240–271). Monterey, CA: Brooks/Cole.

[5] Ellis, A. (1998) How to Control your Anxiety before it Controls You.  Secaucus, NJ: Carol Publishing Group.

[6] Ellis, A. (1999) How to make yourself happy and remarkably less disturbable.  San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact.

[7] Ellis, A. and Dryden, W. (1997) The Practice of Rational Emotive Therapy (Revised edition).  New York: Springer.

[8] Ellis, A., Gordon, J., Neenan, M., and Palmer, S. (1997) Stress Counselling.  London: Cassell.

[9] Ellis, A. and Harper, R. (1997) A Guide to Rational Living.  Third Edition. Hollywood, CA: Wilshire.

[10] Corey, G. (2001) Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Sixth Edition.  Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

[11] The British National Health Service (NHS) supports the view that exercise is good for mood disorders, like anxiety and depression.  Here’s their comment specifically on depression:

“Exercise for depression

“Being depressed can leave you feeling low in energy, which might put you off being more active.

“Regular exercise can boost your mood if you have depression, and it’s especially useful for people with mild to moderate depression.

‘Any type of exercise is useful, as long as it suits you and you do enough of it,’ says Dr Alan Cohen, a GP with a special interest in mental health. ‘Exercise should be something you enjoy; otherwise, it will be hard to find the motivation to do it regularly.’

“How often do you need to exercise?

“To stay healthy, adults should do 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity every week.”  In E-CENT we recommend 30 minutes of brisk walking every day, minimum. Source:   http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/ exercise- for- depression.aspx) Accessed: 23rd February 2016.

~~~

[12] Keirsey, D. and Bates, M. (1984) Please Understand Me: Character and temperament types. Fifth edition. Del Mar, CA: Prometheus Nemesis Book Company.

[13] ‘The healing environment’: An interview with Dr Ron Anderson, in Bill Moyers’ (1995) book: Healing and The Mind.  New York: Doubleday. Page 25.

~~~

The amazing power of well-managed sleep to cure insomnia

Renata’s Blog Post

30th April 2020

Copyright © Renata Taylor-Byrne 2020

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Do you want to feel better tomorrow morning, at no cost?

The amazing power of well-managed sleep to transform your life

~~~

By Renata Taylor-Byrne, Lifestyle Coach-Counsellor

~~~

Full cover JPEG, 21 April 2019

Introduction

Sleep has a huge impact on your life, in ways you may not even notice!

Let me illustrate that claim for you with a quote from an outstanding sleep scientist:

“You may find it surprising to learn that vehicle accidents caused by drowsy driving exceed those caused by alcohol and drugs combined. Drowsy driving is worse than driving drunk.

“This may seem like a controversial or irresponsible thing to say, and I do not wish to trivialise the lamentable act of drunk driving by any means. Yet my statement is true for the following simple reason: drunk drivers are often late in breaking (applying their brakes!) and late in making evasive manoeuvres.

“But when you fall asleep, or have a microsleep (which means momentary unconsciousness), you stop reacting altogether.

“A person who experiences a microsleep, or who has fallen asleep at the wheel. does not brake at all, nor do they make any attempt to avoid an accident”.

 (Matthew Walker, Why We Sleep, 2017) [2]

~~~

Front cover, sleep book, Feb 2019Matthew Walker is an expert in sleep science and has strong opinions about the necessity for sufficient sleep before people set out driving.  His reason is the insight that many people sometimes fall asleep for a couple of moments whilst driving, if they are sleep deprived.  These are called ‘micro-sleeps’.

If you are a driver: Have you ever been aware of having a micro-sleep whilst driving – that means a split-second break in concentration (because you are unconscious!)? If so, you may recall that this happened because you were tired and your eyelids closed or half-shut for a few seconds.

What are the known, measured implications of these kinds of micro-sleeps?

Walker gives the example of micro-sleeping while driving at 30 miles an hour:

This is the bottom line:

“A two second microsleep at 30 mph with a modest angle of drift can result in your vehicle transitioning entirely from one lane to the next. This includes into oncoming traffic. Should you do it at 60 mph, it may be the last microsleep you ever have”. (Page 134)

~~~

Sleep education

Were you taught the importance of getting enough sleep when you were a child; at home or in school? Maybe teachers can’t cover everything, but what about doctors?  Have you ever been coached by your GP regarding the importance of sleep, and how it might be affecting your physical health or emotional well-being?

Dr Chris Winter (2017)[1] writes about one researcher, Raymond Rosen, who discovered that, in the four years of medical training given to trainee doctors (in America), most of them had received less than 2 hours of training in sleep science.

Full cover JPEG, 21 April 2019It seems there is a woeful lack of information available to the general public about the importance of sleep. It was not until 2000 that a major book on sleep science was published, and became somewhat popular (with the Book of the Month Club), thus making detailed knowledge from the basic science of sleep relatively widely available, perhaps for the first time.  (There have been earlier books on sleep science, but not so widely available).

This allowed readers to become aware of what happens to their bodies and minds if they don’t get enough sleep.

We now know, as a matter of scientific fact, that insufficient sleep can cause a range of physical and mental health problems; not the least of which is that it reduces your emotional intelligence, which seriously impacts your relationships and life chances.  (And there is a definite link to dementia!)

My learning journey

Nata-Lifestyle-coach8I was so affected by the contents of Walker’s book that I set out to study the major sources of information on the subject of sleep science.

I began by reviewing a dozen books on the subject, including the following authors:  Matthew Walker, William Dement [3], Nick Littlehales [4], Arianna Huffington [5], and several others.

I then set out to summarize the essence of those books, in an accessible form.  And in the process, I had to consult a total of 108 sources, including books, journal articles, magazine and newspaper articles, and website blogs.

The results were published in my own book – ‘Safeguard your sleep and reap the rewards: Better health, happiness and resilience’ – last year.

Some of the contents of my book include:

– Explaining our inborn sleep patterns (and how this varies depending on our age);

– the different types of sleep and the importance of dream sleep;

– why sleep deprivation is so bad for our health;

– what is insomnia; and strategies to overcome it;

– how our anger levels and emotional intelligence are dependent on sufficient sleep;

– the link between lack of sleep and impaired fertility;

– sleep’s importance in learning and memory;

– physical and mental strategies for improving your sleep;

– and creating a sleep-enhancing bedroom environment.

Social pressure and employment demands can work against getting sufficient sleep, and so several strategies to manage this effectively are described.

Your sleep needs

Sleep-Habit-calloutIf you know you have problems getting to sleep, or staying asleep; or getting the kind of sleep which restores you, so you awake feeling refreshed, then this book is for you.

If you want to improve your sleep quantity and quality, you need to be able to stick to your commitment to change your sleep habits, and assertively alter them in the face of possible pressure from others.

As Dr Phil says, “This is when the rubber hits the road”. And so I have included a chapter on changing your sleep habits; as well as a chapter on how to cure insomnia!

Also, by way of a summary, there are eight key learning points about the ways in which lack of sleep can harm you, and the six crucial ways to protect your sleep are described.

Here is what the book gives you:  In summarized form, the most recent research findings about the crucial need for sleep, with full explanations of how to restore your sleep so that you get maximum nourishment and rest!

The main sleep destroyers are described and ways of protecting your sleep are examined.

If you follow the strategies in this book you will, firstly, experience deeper, more therapeutic sleep; and will be able to face the world with resilience and vitality each day.

Secondly, your knowledge of the fundamental importance of protecting your sleep will make you strong in the face of pressure, from outside forces, to neglect it.

Thirdly your health will improve, and your immune system will be strengthened.

Helping children to sleep

Sleeping-pairIf you are a parent: You also need to think about your children’s sleep, because there is overwhelming evidence that lack of sleep, and anxiety and depression, in children, go hand in hand. Lack of sleep also affects their memory, blood sugar balance, likelihood of obesity, the functioning of their immune system, emotional intelligence, etc.

You are the major role model for your children, including your approach to sleep. Do you remember how much your parents influenced you? That’s the advantage that you have with your children – you are there every day of the week. And they will copy exactly what you do in relation to sleep.

In my book I explain the sleep needs of children and teenagers, which are not widely understood.  If you want to be able to support your children in getting the right amount of sleep, then you need to know the facts.

For more information…

You can get more information about the content of my book here: ‘Safeguard your sleep and reap the rewards: Better health, happiness and resilience’.

~~~

That’s all for now.

Best wishes, and sound sleep!

Renata

E-CENT logo 1 red lineRenata Taylor-Byrne

Lifestyle Coach-Counsellor

The Coaching/Counselling Division

Email: renata@abc-counselling.org

Telephone: 01422 843 629

~~~

[1] Winter, C. (2017) The Sleep Solution: Why your sleep is broken and how to fix it. Melbourne: Scribe Publications.

[2} Walker, M. (2017) Why We Sleep. London: Allen Lane.

[3] Dement, W.C. (2000) The Promise of Sleep. New York: Random House, Inc.

[4] Littlehales, N. (2016) Sleep: The myth of 8 hours, the power of naps, and the new plan to recharge body and mind. London: Penguin, Random House.

[5] Huffington, A. (2016) The Sleep Revolution: transforming your life one night at a time. London: Penguin, Random House, UK.

Lifestyle self-management: Diet, exercise, sleep

E-CENT Blog Post

14th September 2018

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2018

Dr Jim’s Blog: Mental health is not just about childhood experiences;

Or about current stressors; or badly managed thoughts…

Mental health is related to diet and nutrition, inner dialogue, physical exercise, re-framing of experience, and sleep science…

Introduction

Revised-front-coverIn science as well as popular culture, the body and mind have long been pulled apart, and treated as separate entities.  And when they are treated as being connected – as in the modern psychiatric theory of ‘brain chemistry imbalances’ causing negative moods and emotions, the ‘brain chemistry’ in question is taken to be unrelated to how you use your body; what you eat; how well you sleep.  It is assumed to be ‘special brain chemistry’ – separate and apart from Lifestyle Factors – which can only be fixed by consuming dangerous drugs!

If you are interested in the impact of lifestyle practices on mental health and emotional states, then you will enjoy our page of information about how all of the ideas above are presented in our book about Lifestyle Counselling.  We see this as the core of most holistic healing practices of the future.

The way ahead

Body-brain-mindIn the immediate future, lifestyle counselling practice will be a novel service offering for counselling and psychotherapy clients who have realized that:

# the body and mind are intimately connected;

# that the body-mind is an open system, permeated by a whole range of lifestyle factors which can be managed well, or mismanaged,

# which results in excellent or poor mental health, physical health, and personal happiness.

In the pages of our popular book on lifestyle counselling, we have presented:

– a summary of our previous book about the impact of diet and exercise on mental health and emotional well-being;

– a chapter which integrates psychological theories of emotion with physical sources of distress – for the emotions of anger, anxiety and depression – and recommends treatment strategies;

– a chapter on the negative effects of sleep insufficiency on our thinking, feeling and behaviour;

– a chapter on how to re-frame any problem, using our Six Windows Model (which includes some perspectives from moderate Buddhism and moderate Stoicism) – but excludes the extreme forms of those philosophies of life!);

The SOR Model, Fig 1

  • a chapter on how to divine and assess the counselling client’s multiple sources of emotional disturbance, using our Holistic-SOR Model;

– and a chapter on how to set about teaching lifestyle change to counselling and therapy clients.

For a page of information about this book’s contents, including extracts, and the contents pages and index pages, please click the following link: *Lifestyle Counselling and Coaching for the Whole Person… by Jim Byrne***

~~~

That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne

E-CENT Institute

Email: dr.byrne@ecent-institute.org

~~~

Counselling tasks and relationships…

Blog Post No.132

Reposted on 1st June 2016 (Originally posted on Monday 12th October 2015)

Updated on 9th May 2020

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Copyright © Jim Byrne, 2015-2020

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Dr Jim’s Counselling Blog: A counsellor blogs about three processes commonly found in E-CENT counselling…

Introduction

Courage-and-counselling.JPGCounselling and therapy, with a good therapist, offers a wonderful chance to have a better, happier, more meaningful life.  But people pass by this opportunity all too easily, on the way to the pub; the cake shop; the sweet shop; or one thousand and one other distractions and diversions.

I have often discussed with Renata the barriers that people put in the way of doing their therapy – of cleaning up their childhood history – and of learning to relate in the present moment in a loving and enjoyable way.  Here is one of the biggest barriers to entering counselling and therapy, as outlined by M. Scott Peck[1]:

“Entering psychotherapy is an act of the greatest courage.  The primary reason people do not undergo psychotherapy is not that they lack the money but that they lack the courage.  This even includes many (counsellors/ psychotherapists and) psychiatrists themselves, who somehow never quite seem to find it convenient to enter their own therapy…”  In general, psychotherapy clients are much stronger and healthier than the average.

My aim in this blog post is to help you to get a flavour of what it would be like to engage in E-CENT counselling, coaching or psychotherapy.

Revised-front-coverEmotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT), and E-CENT counselling and coaching, do not follow a rigid session structure.

We tailor our guidance, support and teaching to the needs of the individual client.

We do have a range of classic models that we use, and an equally extensive range of guiding principles.

But it often happens that a particular format emerges in our sessions (say, somewhat more than fifty percent of the time); which has the following three major elements:

 

  1. Affirmation of the client’s perceptions and feelings

Counselling-empahty.JPGWhen a new client arrives with an emotionally disturbing problem, we do not try to talk the client out of their perceptions and feelings.  We take it as read that their reactions are proportionate to the problem as they see it.  We look at them and their problems with the eyes of emotional empathy and understanding.  We engage in non-possessive caring, like many client-centred counsellors do.  But we go further in affirming the client as an emotional being.  We follow the guidance of Dr Robert Hobson in that we speak to our clients in a ‘feeling language’.

“The language of the world of things is literal and discursive (or cool and logical) whereas person-talk calls for a ‘language of the heart’, which I term feeling-language.  In order to ‘disclose’ to someone what I mean … I would have to tell stories … first one story, then another story … until ‘the penny drops’.  … (This) calls for a language which is more akin to an art form…:  A language not of ‘facts’ but of feeling”.[2]

We seek to re-parent and befriend our clients, in a specific, professional way; again as influenced by Robert Hobson:

Forms of Feeling By Robert F. Hobson“Ian Suttie … regarded psychotherapy as a quest for a ‘companionship’ with the client.  He drew attention to the embarrassed ‘taboo on tenderness’ which scares us all, especially ‘scientific’ psychotherapists.  There is no more effective barrier to treatment (in counselling and therapy).  Tenderness is akin to that of the loving relationship between the child and mother which is formed ‘with the intention of severance’.  The therapist needs to be a ‘mother’ (and a ‘father’), but s/he must move towards ‘friendship’, a more equal personal relationship”.  (Page 212).

By affirming our clients as they are, we create trust and hope and we often stimulate their capacity to love, which they apply in their relationships back home.  This is discussed by Hobson like this:

“The infant has potentialities to develop complex modes of experience and diverse patterns of behaviour.  These inborn tendencies need to be activated (made ‘actual’) by people and things in his environment.  Of crucial importance is the capacity to form rewarding attachments to particular persons, first to the mother and then to other people.  The success of psychotherapy, the well-being of any society, and perhaps the future of mankind, depends upon whether or not, and under what conditions, love can grow”. (Page 151).

Image result for cover of attachment in psychotherapyAs pointed out by Dr David Wallin, if this does not happen in the client’s actual childhood, then the develop insecure attachment style; but their brain-mind remains malleable, and they can get this missing ‘secure base’ in counselling and therapy relationships, during their adult lives:

“Very much as the original attachment relationship(s) (with mother and father) allowed the child to develop, it is ultimately the new relationship of attachment with the (counsellor) that allows the (client) to change. To paraphrase Bowlby (1988), such a relationship provides a secure base that enables the (client) to take the risk of feeling what s/he is not supposed to feel and knowing what s/he is not supposed to know”. (Wallin, page 3)[3].

E-CENT counselling and therapy provide a relationship within which to explore problems of personal relationships. Again, we have been influenced by the views of Robert Hobson:

ABC Bookstore Maximal Charles 2019“Problems in personal relationships cannot be solved by talking about them, by explaining them from outside.  They can only be explored and tackled effectively in the experience of being within a relationship”. (Hobson, Page 183).

The counsellor’s role is to provide a ‘secure space’, and also to promote autonomy of the client.

See more on our ABC Bookstore.***

So we work at developing our relationships with our clients; to become a secure base for them; to affirm them; and to help them to develop a secure attachment to us.  But at some point, sooner or later, we move on to exploring a range of ways of looking at the client’s problems.

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  1. Exploring a range of different interpretations

Naive-realismFolk-psychology (or ‘common sense’) misleads counselling clients into thinking that ‘what they see is all there is’; and that they have the capacity to see ‘reality’ directly.  This is not how philosophers and psychologists understand the world.

I have written about this in the introduction to one of my articles on how to look at any problem from several different perspectives.  This is what I wrote: “We do not see with our eyes so much as with our brains.  Eyes are part of the machinery of perception, but the decisions (or judgement) about ‘what it is’ that we see are not made by our eyes.

Those decisions are made by our ‘stored experiences’ driving our ‘judgements’.  We do not see ‘external events’ so much with our eyes, then, as we see them through ‘frames of reference and interpretation’ which were created in the past, and which we now implement as habit-based stimulus-response pairings.  Or we could call these responses ‘pattern matching’ processes.  We non-consciously conclude: ‘I’ve seen this stimulus (or ‘external event’) before.  This (particular interpretation) is the sense I made of it last time.  So that is how I have to relate to it this time’.”[4]

So, when our clients come to see us, we know they will have their own interpretations of their experiences, and some of those interpretations will be unhelpful, and actually emotionally disturbing for them.

See more on our ABC Bookstore.***

Picture 1 of 1E-CENT counselling teaches that there are many helpful perspectives on life, some of which come from Buddhism and some from Stoic philosophyOne of those perspectives was popularized in the 1980s by M. Scott Peck.  This is it: “Life is difficult.  This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.  It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.  Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters”. (Scott Peck, 1990, page 13).

So we teach that life is difficult, and that it has to be faced.  We try to help our clients to loosen their interpretations; to explore their stories; to create new narrative.  This can be seen to be a ‘playful’ process, as described by Robert Hobson, who writes that:

“Donald Winnicott speaks of (counselling and) psychotherapy as a means of bringing someone into a state of being able to play, when previously this had been impossible.  In play, there is a childlike (but yet also adult) dissolution, reconstruction, and re-organization of memories, experiences, and events”. (Hobson, page 243).

In the playfulness of exploring narratives of your earlier life, you may have the startling but gratifying experience of creating a new life for yourself (because it is newly interpreted).

But it is rare that you can do this without facing up to some buried pain from the past.  Some pain that hurts, but does not kill!

See more on our ABC Bookstore.***

~~~

  1. Helping the client to digest previously undigested experiences

Deferred-workFreud knew that we need to put some problems on one side, when we are young, because we do not feel strong enough to process them.  But we need to return to those problems when we are older.  We have to eventually digest them, chew them up, so we can be rid of their negative effects on our non-conscious functioning in the here and now.

E-CENT counselling teaches that life is difficult, but that you have to face up to the difficulty – to both experience it and reframe it – in order to make it ‘go away’.  According to Scott Peck:  “What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one.  Problems, depending upon their nature, evoke in us frustration or grief or sadness or loneliness or guilt or regret or anger, or fear or anxiety or anguish or despair.  These are uncomfortable feelings, often very uncomfortable, often as painful as any kind of physical pain, sometimes equalling the very worst kind of physical pain.  Indeed, it is because of the pain that events or conflicts engender in us that we call them problems.  And since life poses an endless series of problems, life is always difficult and is full of pain as well as joy”.  (Page 14).

E-CENT counselling advocates ‘completing our experience’ of difficulties in our lives. The sooner we face up to the pain in our lives – the difficult parts, that involve some suffering – and process it, and digest it, the sooner we can get on with the pleasant and enjoyable parts:

In 2011, I wrote a paper on the importance of not just reframing your experience, so it look less threatening or frustrating or depressing; but also of completing your experience, by ‘allowing it to be’; ‘facing up to it’; ‘digesting it’; and feeling the pain.  This is how that paper began:

Preface

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life”.  Virginia Woolf

“Whatever you resist persists”.  Werner Erhard

The core of the theory and practice of Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT) is built around the concept of “reframing your experience” of life, so that it will show up in a more tolerable and bearable way than if you frame it illogically and unreasonably.  Normally the client knows what the problem is.  It is available to their conscious awareness.  And the E-CENT counsellor encourages them to look at it through a variety of ‘lenses’ or ‘windows’, so they can see it differently. (Byrne, 2009b).

On the other hand, sometimes a client may have a problem buried in their past, about which they know nothing, and this buried problem – this ‘denied pain’ – is the main driver of their current depression, anxiety, panic, or anger.  With these kinds of archaic problems of repression, we use techniques related to the concept of “digging up” and “completing” that archaic experience; of “digesting it”; so it can be filed away in an inactive file, in the background of their life, where it cannot cause them any more psychological problems.[5]

~~~

See more on our ABC Bookstore.***

When we are vulnerable children, a certain amount of denial of pain is helpful for survival; but this strategy of denial has to be abandoned in adulthood, and we have to face up to the truth of where we began, and what we experienced, and how it hurt or harmed us at that time.  Only then can we burn it up in the glare of consciousness; and file it away in inactive files in long-term memory; where it will no longer bother us.

Picture 1 of 1As M. Scott Peck argues: “…Let us teach ourselves and our children the necessity for suffering and the value thereof; the need to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved.  I have stated that discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s problems. It will become clear that these tools are techniques of suffering, means by which we experience the pain of problems in such a way as to work them through and solve them successfully, learning and growing in the process.  When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are teaching them and ourselves how to suffer and also how to grow”. (Page 15).

When we try to resist unavoidable pain – necessary pain, such as the pain of an actual loss – we get stuck with it.  When we face up to it, and fully experience it – digest it – it can then dissolve and disappear over time.

~~~

So, it clearly takes courage to come to counselling and therapy.  It can be a bit like going to the dentist.  But you would not let your teeth rot to avoid the pain of the dental exam; so why let your heart and mind rot because of your fear of facing up to legitimate emotional grief, or hurt, or sadness?

See more on our ABC Bookstore.***

~~~

If you are ready to do your therapy now, and you want to explore what Renata and I have to offer, then please take a look at:

Division 1: Jim’s counselling and psychotherapy services.***

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Division 2: Renata’s coaching and counselling services.***

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I hope you find this blog post helpful.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

~~~

 

[1] M. Scott Peck (1990) The Road Less Travelled: The new psychology of love, traditional values and spiritual growth.  Pages 55-56. (112)

[2] Robert F. Hobson, Forms of Feeling: The heart of psychotherapy, Page 20. (25)

[3] Dr David Wallin, Attachment in Psychotherapy, 2007, page 3.

[4] Dr Jim Byrne, An Introduction to the Windows Model of E-CENT, http://www.abc-counselling.com/id174.html

[5] Dr Jim Byrne (2011) E-CENT Paper No.13: Completing your past experience of difficult events, perceptions, and painful emotions. http://www.abc-counselling.com/id356.html

~~~

Managing anger

Blog Post No.140

By Dr Jim Byrne

Written on 30th January 2016.  Posted here on 6th may 2016. And updated on 29th March 2020

Dr Jim’s Counselling Blog: Anger management appendix: The Emotional Revolution digested…

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2016/2020

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Prelude

MensGroup1.JPGI have wanted to write a blog for several days now, but I find it hard to free up the time.  Therefore, in this blog, I am going to take some short-cuts by updating you regarding some of the things I’ve been writing about.

Recent writing work

Today, I have managed to write an appendix on Anger Management, which begins like this:

Appendix D – How to control your anger

A holistic approach – by Dr Jim Byrne

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2016.

~~~

Introduction

AppendixDnewbook.JPGIn this appendix, I will outline the four main processes that we recommend in E-CENT counselling for anger management control.  Briefly, these are: better management of (1) your diet, (2) physical exercise, (3) self-talk (or inner dialogue), and (4) relaxation/meditation.  But you will also need to work on (5) your relationships and (6) your communication skills.

In this appendix I will outline seven relatively simple and easy activities you can undertake, beginning today, to get your anger under control.  But first, you need to have a good understanding of the nature of anger.

Understanding anger

Anger is one of our basic emotions.  It’s innate.  It was selected by nature for its survival value.  We would not survive for long without an innate sense of angering in response to abuse or neglect.  We also would not survive for long if we did not quickly learn how to moderate our anger as young children.  My anger is a two-edged sword.  It can help to protect me, and it can attract hostile reactions from others.

My basic emotion of anger is elaborated into a higher cognitive emotion through modelling by my mother and father and significant others in the first few years of my life. And through my successful and unsuccessful experiences of engaging in conflict with others.

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Unhealthy-anger.JPGHealthy anger is present-time defence of your legitimate rights in the face of inappropriate behaviour by another person. Healthy or reasonable anger is the fuel that drives our assertive behaviours.  It pushes us to engage in constructive conflict, when that is necessary!

To ask for what you want, which is legitimately yours to request, requires a certain level of ‘fire in your belly’.  If you lack that fire (that reasonable level of anger), then you will tend to ‘wimp-out’, to act passively and let other people control you or intimidate you or deny you your reasonable share of the social stage.
Unhealthy or unreasonable anger is an over-reaction to a frustrating or insulting stimulus from another person or external force. Unhealthy or unreasonable anger leads to aggressive actions and destructive conflict.

As one author wrote about unhealthy anger:

“A psychotherapist once told me when he was training that, previously, he had been sure that all his angry feelings were brought forth by the person in front of him, but as he learnt more about the psyche (or mind) in general – and his own in particular – he changed from pointing the finger and saying, ‘You, you, you’; instead the finger went round in a circle until he was pointing at himself, and saying far more quietly, ‘Me, me, me’.  As I have said, self-observation is the very opposite of self-indulgence.  It makes self-responsibility possible”.

Philippa Perry, How to Stay Sane. Page 22.

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What you need to realize is that you most likely have a dominant mood or background emotional state, which has been with you since early childhood, arising out of your relationships with mother, father and others.  This dominant mood may tend towards irritability, sadness, or fearfulness and worry; or some mixture or blending of all three of those basic moods.  Those individuals who have the biggest problems with anger outbursts and uncontrollable, aggressive anger tend to be those whose background moods are predominantly irritable.  On the other hand, individuals who have engaged in long-suffering of abuse or neglect, because of their fearful worrisome personalities, may eventually collect enough ‘brown stamps’ from social insults and frustrations to ‘allow them’ (or to give themselves permission) to flip over into payback mode with occasional angry outbursts.

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…end of extract.

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Anger, resentment and forgiveness:

How to get your inappropriate anger under reasonable control

Front cover, anger2

By Dr Jim Byrne

This self-help book is based on more than twenty years’ experience by the author of providing anger management counselling and coaching to hundreds of individuals.

If you want to stop wrecking your relationships, at home and in work, than this book is a must read.

It is based on a review of some of the most potent techniques and strategies for controlling your temper that were invented by thoughtful philosophers around the world and across the centuries.

PAPERBACK BOOK ON VARIOUS STRATEGIES FOR EFFECTIVELY CONTROLLING YOUR ANGER…

It will give you mastery over you emotions, and the ability to forgive those who transgress against you, without being too passive.

Learn more

Paperback only at the moment

Price: £14.75 from Amazon.

~~~

So, that is the first two pages of a sixteen page appendix on Anger Management. I wrote that appendix to expand upon what I had written in Chapter 5 of my latest book on E-CENT counselling.  This is how Chapter 5 begins:

Chapter 5. Understanding and managing human emotions

5.1: Introduction

Theory-of-emotion.JPGBecause counsellors and psychotherapists deal with their clients’ emotions – (as well as their behaviours, goals, relationships and environmental stressors) – every system of counselling and therapy has to have a theory of emotion.  This, however, is problematical.

As one psychotherapist has pointed out: “The terms ‘feeling’ and ‘emotion’, and ‘affect’ are used in many different senses in psychology.  A review of more than twenty theories of emotion reveals a plethora of widely diverging technical definitions.  These vary with the technique of investigation, the general theoretical framework, and the value-judgements of the psychologist.  Often, they are so diverse as to defy comparison let alone synthesis”.

Since there is no universal agreement regarding the nature of human emotions in counselling and therapy, we, in E-CENT counselling, have to account for our own theory of emotion: to justify it, as well as defining and elaborating its elements.

5.2: Buddhism and Stoicism on emotion

E-CENT counselling has been influenced by Buddhist ideas and Stoic ideas, including some of their ideas about human emotions –  (in addition to attachment theory, neuroscience, affective neuroscience, interpersonal neurobiology, and other disciplines – including Rational therapy, Transactional analysis, Moral philosophy, and so on).  With regard to Buddhism, it seems from The Dhammapada , that the Buddha taught that all human disturbance arises out of desire; and this idea is shared with Stoicism.

In E-CENT theory we have taken some of these ideas as points of departure, but we have also found serious flaws in both of those theories.

For examples:

  1. Regarding Buddhist theory: The opening lines of the Dhammapada are as follows:

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our mind”. (Page 1)  .

In my view, it would be more accurate to say:

(1) “What we are today comes from our thoughts (and feelings) about our experiences…”

So, we are not talking about disembodied thoughts, devoid of a stimulus in an external reality.  And we are not talking about beings that can think independently of their basic emotional wiring! People are emotionally wired up by their earliest relationships, and they live in the real world of good and bad experiences!

(2) “…and our present thoughts (Plus our feelings and actions, including eating, sleeping, relaxing, exercising, etc.) build our life of tomorrow…”

Thoughts-not-determinant.JPGSo our thoughts (about our experiences) do not act alone; they are not the sole determinant of our lives.

(3) “…our life is the creation of our mind” (Our mind Plus our relationships, plus our experiences; plus our diet, exercise, stressors – including economic and political circumstances, family life, and on and on).

So the Buddha can easily mislead the unwary; as the unwary were misled by Albert Elis and Aaron Beck – who downplayed the role of the environment in human experience; and Ellis downplayed the role of early childhood in shaping the later life of the social-individual. Those theorists also overlooked the importance of our eating of unhealthy diets; or our failure to exercise our bodies – all of which impacts our emotional states).

To serve our clients well, counsellors and psychotherapists need to be critical thinkers; to be awake; to be well informed (meaning widely read, and subject to multiple influences); and to think for ourselves.

…end of extract. Read more here.***

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That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

Email: drjwbyrnt@gmail.com

01422 843 629 (UK) – 44 1422 843 629 (outside UK)

~~~

On the problems of changing our habits

Dr Jim’s Blog: On the problems of changing our habits. Why we resist positive change

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 3rd May 2016

Background

According to Julia Cameron, and Dr James Pennebaker, there are great cognitive and emotional gains to be made from spending a few minutes each morning writing out our stream of consciousness – our thoughts, feelings, reflections, plans for the day, worries and goals and so on.

Many years ago, Renata and I discovered this process, and we both decided to try it out.  We found it very helpful in being more creative; more on top of our daily lives; and we believe it does promote physical and emotional wellbeing.

But over the years, Renata has kept up the practice – ‘religiously’.  But with me, it has come and gone.  And when I am not in the habit of writing my Daily Pages every morning, my mind becomes silted, and clogged up with undigested bits and bats, and I fail to resolve perfectly resolvable worries or strains for days and weeks at a time. Then I go back to writing my Daily Pages.

Recent resolve

I recently resolved to make the Daily Pages a daily habit for the rest of my life, because of the obvious advantages. On 20th April I constructed a list of the Benefits of writing my Daily Pages – three pages of stream of consciousness – and the Costs of not writing those pages.

I reviewed those lists on 20th April. I then wrote three pages reflective thoughts.

I forgot to review them on 21st – and also failed to write my pages on that day!

I resumed reviewing the Benefits and Costs on 22nd April, and I have kept it up since then – right up to this morning!

However: I almost forgot to write my Daily Pages this morning, so keen was I to get on with checking online developments on various websites; and updating my page about the launch of my Holistic Counselling book.***

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Book-cover-frontThen I wrote four lines of my pages, and went back online!  Why?  Do I have a self-sabotaging part of myself that wants to fail?  Wants to disrupt my 30 day experiment?

I certainly hope not.

So now I have to get back into the groove.

Here’s the drill:

Today is the 12th consecutive day of writing my Daily Pages, and the 13th day in the current series.

I will now review the Benefits of writing Daily Pages, and the Costs of not writing them, from my typed list:

Done √

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Reflections on this experience

It is really hard to learn new ideas, and to change old habits.  We have to review them over and over and over again.  This most likely results from what I call ‘frozen schemas’: packets of knowledge or information from the past which are resistant to change.  The best illustration I can think of is the resistance of a racist’s schemas for race-related information.  No amount of positive information about a minority ethnic person seems to dissolve the prejudices of a racist. A similar phenomenon is found with nationalism, tribalism, sexism, religious intolerance, homophobia, etc.So if we want to change and grow, we have to keep reviewing our habitual behaviours (which reveal [by implication or inference] our habitual thoughts-feelings-attitudes). Then we have to work very hard, and intelligently, to change those behaviours-thoughts-feelings-attitudes.

How we are wired up

Our socially and emotionally significant thoughts-feelings-attitudes, are most likely memorized and stored in – or managed from – our left and right orbitofrontal cortices (OFCs).  (Damasio, 1998 – Descartes Error; and Hill, 2015 – Affect Regulation).

When we try to rethink our social-emotional situations, we most likely activate schemas (or ‘control patterns’) in our left frontal lobe and the upper region of our left orbitofrontal cortex (OFC), which were originally shaped by our social experiences; and those social experiences were at least partly linguistic, or were derived from language-based communications; or were understood by us in an (at least) partially language-based way.

An illustration of this left OFC type of schema, or frame, would be this: Watching [as a child] how my mother deals with my father, verbally and non-verbally; and how he responds, verbally and non-verbally.  Listening to her words, and relating them to earlier words of hers; earlier actions of hers; including how she thinks-feels-acts in relation to me.  But my right OFC would be offering up strong feeling states about what I am seeing; feelings that come from the past about my mother and father; how they both related to each other in the past; how each of them related to me in the past; and those right OFC feeling states would be completely non-verbal, but nevertheless drivers of my thinking-feeling-action potential in the present moment.  And the struggle between the (strong) right OFC (representing the habitual ways of the past) and the (weaker) left OFC (representing my desire for change today) is probably normally loaded in favour of the emotional-rigidity of the right.

Further reflection

Jim.Nata.Couples.pg.jpg.w300h245When I decided to construct a list of the Benefits of writing my daily pages, every day, I was using the language and logic based functions of my left frontal lobe.  When I sit down each morning, and review those lists of Benefits and Costs, I am operating from my wilful, intentional, left frontal lobe, and the upper region of my left OFC.  And slowly, slowly, the upper region of my left OFC is influencing the lower, more emotional region of my left OFC.

But (I infer) there is some kind of resistance in the lower regions of my left OFC, and perhaps in my right OFC, to keeping up this practice of writing my Daily Pages.  Hence my strange behaviour this morning, of going online, and working at busy stuff, instead of writing my pages.

However, since I cannot see inside my own brain-mind, in order to corroborate any of these conclusions, I must also ask: Is there any other possible explanation for my strange (apparently self-sabotaging) behaviour this morning, after 12 days of success?

And I have to admit that there is:

  1. Firstly, I skipped taking my multivitamins and minerals before coming to my office this morning to write my pages; and although we should get most of our vitamins from our food, there is little doubt that everything that I put into my stomach has some effect on my total body-mind functioning! (See my new book on Holistic Counselling in Practice.***)
  2. I did not have to get up early this morning, and so I started writing my pages at least three hours later today than on the previous 12 days; hence it is obvious that my blood-sugar level must be very much lower today than it has been on previous days; and my blood sugar level is important to my brain-mind functioning. (See my new book on Holistic Counselling in Practice.***)

So, I will check again tomorrow, earlier in the day, and with my vitamins and minerals in my stomach, and more stable blood sugar levels, to see how easy or how difficult it is to write my Daily Pages.

~~~

Why am I writing this?

MensGroup2Because I want you to understand how hard it is – how difficult – to change any human behaviour.  I want you to understand just how intentional and determined you have to be if you want to change yourself and your life!  The right limbic system, the right OFC, and the lower regions of the left OFC will all resist the brave and determined actions of your left frontal lobe and the upper region of your left OFC!

You can change your habits, but it will take a lot of effort.  And it will involve your whole body-mind.  Get some support in this process from somebody who understands the process!

~~~

That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne, Executive Director

The Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT)

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Change of E-CENT Institute’s name

Update – Friday 13th November 2015

Re-posted on 6th April 2016

A change of name:

The Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied-Narrative Therapy (E-CENT Institute)

by Dr Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne – Copyright (c) 2016

E-CENT logoThis morning, Renata and I were discussing our new book***, on which we are collaborating; and we realized that the time has come to modify the name of the Institute to take account of the true nature of our system of counselling and psychotherapy.

In our original formulation, we made the mistake of following the pattern set down by Albert Ellis – in which rationality and cognition are elevated above emotion.  His system began with the words ‘Rational Emotive’ and ours began with ‘Cognitive Emotive’.  However, from the beginning, we were of the view that humans are fundamentally physical-emotional beings, with some (limited) capacity to think and reason.

We follow the pattern explored by Antonio Damasio (2000)[1], in which the body-brain is the fundamental substrate of emotion.  We then elaborate from the theories of Theodore Sarbin[2], to the effect that our innate feelings, over the first few years of life, become woven together with stories and concepts and themes and scripts which we acquire from our family of origin, and which we co-construct with them.

So, logically, we should have reversed the first two letters of our acronym – from CE (Cognitive-Emotive) to EC (Emotive-Cognitive).

Nata-and-Jim-hols-10001.jpg.w300h192The second problem we realized is that, although the body-brain-mind is the foundation of our understanding of the human subject – the counselling client – the word ‘body’ did not appear in the name of the therapy, nor is it represented in the current acronym.

In E-CENT counselling, we teach our coaching and therapy clients that we are body-minds, and that the mind depends upon diet, exercise and relaxation, etc., in order to function properly: “To keep the body in good health is a duty – otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear”.

The Buddha, from a quotation in Julia Cameron’s (1995) book, The Artist’s Way: A Course in Discovering and Recovering Your Creative Self.

~~~

So we have decided that we should only speak of embodied-narratives, and not the kinds of ‘abstract beliefs and thoughts’ that float around in CBT/REBT.

Therefore, we have concluded that the name of our Institute will henceforth be changed to The Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied-Narrative Therapy – (or E-CENT Institute, for short).

The acronym of the system of therapy has now been changed from CENT to E-CENT.  (It would be too ugly and confusing to hyphenate the letters for Embodied-Narrative).

Welcome to the Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied-Narrative Therapy (E-CENT).

~~~

That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Renata and Jim

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